Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
