Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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