The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
