guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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