Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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