apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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