Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
