there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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