So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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