I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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