why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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