Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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