This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
