I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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