I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
