I CAN MOONWALK!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i love accidental penises.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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