I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
