So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
