Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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