All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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