Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
