I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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