Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
