I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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