Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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