Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
