if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
