3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
