Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
