Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
