mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
