I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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