Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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