i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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