Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
