At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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