You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
