weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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