My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize