That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
