guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
