That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
