I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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