peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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