He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
