I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
