I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
