i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
