I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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