Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize