planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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