The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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