"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My pussy is not your playground.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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