Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize