I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just found puke in my bra..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
