my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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