I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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