I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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