On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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