What did we do last night that was yellow?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize