he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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