The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
