whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
