look no pants
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
