Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Vodka?
Forever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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