the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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