Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize